Much I’ve seen and much felt: Old, new, friends, and foes

I know who cares and loves, and who adds to my woes

My faults I tried to wash away, if any, there has ever been

Yet, I’ve been accused of being private, arrogant, and mean.

 

Promise I to you, that truth is what I only preach

Though, at times, rude I’m may seem in my speech

But just care to consider and try not to be out of my reach

Love that you offer, I’ll return the favor be you a goddess or a witch.

 

Young lass, you cared and implied love (though, not said)

Love lasts in hearts that is pure’s

But that love (that I thought was love) just did fade.

Tell me, how, then, am I your’s?

 

You always wanted to converse with me

And much did I like you and wanted to make you feel free

Concerned I was about you, as I have always been,

And don’t want you to despise me,

Sometimes I don’t, sometimes I do mean

All that I say; I say that you may heartily grin.

 

I wanted to see you laugh and giggle

But so unkind you turned, yet feelings I tried to desist

With hope that you might like me, I did wiggle

My hope is just hopeless, for your intention is to punish

 

I vow not to say a thing, not a single thing!

If that gives you pleasure, and if that’s what you desire

And I’m ready to lose the sense of my being

But my infinite love for you’ll keep burning like fire!

 

Pretended, yes pretended I have, like, not a thing I know

False love, pride, wealth, fame and vanity’s glow are all fatal blow

Prudent, I think, it is to be humble, oh, and what is there to show?

Simplicity, honesty are both strength, yet you thought I’m low.

 

A mere trick to know you better and to speak with you

That I interrogate for suggestions, an answer, or a clarification

Exclusive trick it is, and I judiciously play only with few

My lonely pursuit: writing; my moderate ambition

But oh! Your help means nothing to me.

Your wealth and accolades are yours to keep, from them I try to flee

Nor do your skills, scores, ranks, mean nothing to me

That’s yours, that’s yours; wish you more of it so happy you always be

 

Consider me an eccentric, and I’m as good as a droll

We are not yet done; not very well we played our part

Not just a droll I’m also a Muller, or to you perhaps a fool?

All that has gone, has gone, however, things anew we can start

This thirst for love, I thought, might bring us bliss

But your recent gesture, by all means, was just a painful kiss.

Your recent gesture separated us and took us miles afar

As though stranger I’m, and my proximity to you… you deter.

 

All my worth is on the verge of decay

What value one might intend to add?

To survive can I find no better way?

Cruel love you’re making me extremely mad.

 

Yes, blunders, I admit, sometimes I made

And experienced fear and hurtful hate

But, leaving me uncaringly now that you run

Pity it is, oh love, but such love I shun.

 

And mind you! Never say my love I didn’t display

For I did, as much as I could, in my own way

But you! Did you ever think of me even a wee bit?

When I tried to come closer and attempted to talk

As though, I was someone below your standard and not fit

That ignoring me, boisterously, here and there you did walk

 

I did come with hands clean and intention good

But noticing your gesture, changed my entire mood

Oh, how much you abhor me, I’d never known nor thought

Ah! What love is this, if such malice for me you’ve got?

 

Am I so wretched that an untouchable you make me feel?

Oh! Why do you cause me so much pain that is not easy to heal?

Glimpses of true love and tenderness in you I fail to see

If this is my fate and such life is, so it be!

 

Copyright © 2012 RAMU DAS