Much I’ve seen and much felt: Old, new, friends, and foes
I know who cares and loves, and who adds to my woes
My faults I tried to wash away, if any, there has ever been
Yet, I’ve been accused of being private, arrogant, and mean.
Promise I to you, that truth is what I only preach
Though, at times, rude I’m may seem in my speech
But just care to consider and try not to be out of my reach
Love that you offer, I’ll return the favor be you a goddess or a witch.
Young lass, you cared and implied love (though, not said)
Love lasts in hearts that is pure’s
But that love (that I thought was love) just did fade.
Tell me, how, then, am I your’s?
You always wanted to converse with me
And much did I like you and wanted to make you feel free
Concerned I was about you, as I have always been,
And don’t want you to despise me,
Sometimes I don’t, sometimes I do mean
All that I say; I say that you may heartily grin.
I wanted to see you laugh and giggle
But so unkind you turned, yet feelings I tried to desist
With hope that you might like me, I did wiggle
My hope is just hopeless, for your intention is to punish
I vow not to say a thing, not a single thing!
If that gives you pleasure, and if that’s what you desire
And I’m ready to lose the sense of my being
But my infinite love for you’ll keep burning like fire!
Pretended, yes pretended I have, like, not a thing I know
False love, pride, wealth, fame and vanity’s glow are all fatal blow
Prudent, I think, it is to be humble, oh, and what is there to show?
Simplicity, honesty are both strength, yet you thought I’m low.
A mere trick to know you better and to speak with you
That I interrogate for suggestions, an answer, or a clarification
Exclusive trick it is, and I judiciously play only with few
My lonely pursuit: writing; my moderate ambition
But oh! Your help means nothing to me.
Your wealth and accolades are yours to keep, from them I try to flee
Nor do your skills, scores, ranks, mean nothing to me
That’s yours, that’s yours; wish you more of it so happy you always be
Consider me an eccentric, and I’m as good as a droll
We are not yet done; not very well we played our part
Not just a droll I’m also a Muller, or to you perhaps a fool?
All that has gone, has gone, however, things anew we can start
This thirst for love, I thought, might bring us bliss
But your recent gesture, by all means, was just a painful kiss.
Your recent gesture separated us and took us miles afar
As though stranger I’m, and my proximity to you… you deter.
All my worth is on the verge of decay
What value one might intend to add?
To survive can I find no better way?
Cruel love you’re making me extremely mad.
Yes, blunders, I admit, sometimes I made
And experienced fear and hurtful hate
But, leaving me uncaringly now that you run
Pity it is, oh love, but such love I shun.
And mind you! Never say my love I didn’t display
For I did, as much as I could, in my own way
But you! Did you ever think of me even a wee bit?
When I tried to come closer and attempted to talk
As though, I was someone below your standard and not fit
That ignoring me, boisterously, here and there you did walk
I did come with hands clean and intention good
But noticing your gesture, changed my entire mood
Oh, how much you abhor me, I’d never known nor thought
Ah! What love is this, if such malice for me you’ve got?
Am I so wretched that an untouchable you make me feel?
Oh! Why do you cause me so much pain that is not easy to heal?
Glimpses of true love and tenderness in you I fail to see
If this is my fate and such life is, so it be!
Copyright © 2012 RAMU DAS