Interviewer: I’ve heard a lot about you; you know so many people say this and that. But, it would be nice if you tell me something about yourself.
Mr Nobody: Oh yes, I will. I’m the pain who troubles people at every hour. I’m the lover who has never been loved. I’m the humorist who makes people laugh, or at least make them smile. I’m the joy of life. I’m the air people breathe… ha ha ha!
Interviewer: [That wasn’t funny at all]. Alright, that would be enough.
Mr Nobody: Don’t interrupt me, please. I have more to say. I’m the giver who has never received anything in return. I’m the fragrant perfume which people crave to sniff. I’m the jewel abandoned by people. I’m an old man, a phantom… ha ha ha!
Interviewer: [That wasn’t funny either. Why this damn soul doesn’t come to the point?]. Mr Nobody, I think…
Mr Nobody: I’m the satirist who doesn’t wish to be forgiven. I’m the writer whose writing people read yet they never acknowledge reading it. I’m the gentleman fooled by romance. I’m the poet who brings people delight. I’m the funny little mischief-maker whom people want to sue. I’m a tramp… and … alright, let me not say more. The list can go on, but most importantly, to tell you the truth, I’m Mr Nobody! Ha ha ha!
Interviewer: [Damn silly creature, laughs for no reason]. I heard that recently an Organization came to your college to offer job, but sadly you could not get the job, is there any reason?
Mr Nobody: Any reason, you ask? There are many reasons. The corporate recruiters… ha ha ha! They were some buffoons! Ha ha ha… We are pampered and polished for three years in the college, and finally when our skin starts showing some appeal, some glow, you know, that may arouse feelings; the recruiters come and comment on our skin. If you have the skin they like, you are in. If you don’t possess the right skin, you are out. But mostly, it depends on the extent to which you are ready to show our skin, and I mean the good skin.
Interviewer: Oh, so you mean to say you don’t have the right skin?
Mr Nobody: [Damn it!] Did I say I don’t have the right skin?
Interviewer: No. But I thought…
Mr Nobody: You thought… ha! You know, it’s not easy to get a job. For if you really wish to get one, you have to shout and scream your lungs out (when you actually are supposed to discuss things like some good folks do), and stare at some incomprehensible questions on the question paper during the aptitude test and ponder until someone says: “Time’s up!” And within a friction of a second, you tick on the answers, uttering something like: “Inki pinky ponky…” or if you are in India you would say, “Jay mata di”.
To be continued…
Copyright © 2013 RAMU DAS
6 thoughts on “In conversation with Mr Nobody – Part 1”
An Indian acquaintance once told me that he lost a job at an interview because he could not remember the number of steps that led to the interviewer’s office. Apparently, it proved that he was “not observant enough”.
I felt this might have been an exaggeration. But there you are ….
Hahaha! That sounds very very funny. I mean it is hard to swallow such buffoonery of such interviewers, you know. Perhaps the interviewer of your Indian acquaintance thought every creature in this world directly comes out of the novels of Conan Doyle. Hahaha!
Ramu ! the interview is going quite interesting till now,wonder what twists you have in your store?
Haha! Thanks! Glad that you enjoyed. Mr Nobody is my funny protagonist . Yes, there are many twists and turns, wait for it. 🙂
“Time’s up!” And within a friction of a second, you tick on the answers, uttering something like: “Inki pinky ponky…” or if you are in India you would say, “Jay mata di”
You nailed it…!!!
You know Mr Nobody is a funny creature, he always says what he say to.
Glad that you liked it. 🙂
I read you post: “Benefits Of Water Conservation”.
I must tell something about this company, I could not write about them in your post, as a comment, because they would come and check how many comments and likes you have got on this particular post . That’s publicity for them.
They asked me to write for them sometime back. I did. When I asked for the payment, they put some new conditions, which they did not mention in the beginning, and which, I suppose, are quite unnecessary. They should mention everything before hand, which, sadly, they don’t do.
They would ask you to fill a form, scan it, and send it to them with your signature. They would also ask for your PAN card number.
Such things are not needed to post a cheque at your address.